El finale…
So this is is that post - or probably will be. I am in hospital in Mackay - the palliative care hospital. As you know I had pneumonia in January. I never recovered from the water in my lungs. So this may be the final or close to final post I write.
I know I leave a lot of unfinished business and I’m sorry. There was a lot I wanted to get done and didn’t, although it feels like I had lots of time to do it. Please keep my website going as best you can - articles, book reviews, course reviews, and general discussion. I’m sorry I won’t make parties (probably not even mine!) but I will always be there in spirit.
I am not gone until there is no one left to remember me, and I’m fairly sure that no one is going to do that in a hurry.
The fact is, I’m in so much discomfort right now - not pain, but discomfort - that I am ready to go. The Lord is waiting for me and I can’t wait to spend eternity with Him. I just can’t bear the discomfort here on Earth right now. Does that sound pathetic? Maybe. But I can’t stand it.
And the reason I’m so ready to go is because of everyone else. I’m in the process of saying the big goodbyes and I’m so grateful for everythinig that everyone has done for me over the past quarter century. I am so blissfully happy that there is nothing else that would make me happier. There is no way to further increase my happiness, so I’m ready to go. It is for everyone else that it is so difficult.
Thank you for taking on the burdens of my death - especially my family and Jason and all the people who will be inconvenienced (and that is many). Jason has all the paperwork; please help him as much as you can.
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March 22nd, 2008 at 5:49 pm
I am providing daily updates on Jessica’s condition in the discussion forum at
http://www.dyingforbeginners.com/forum/dying-for-beginners-general-discussion-f2.html
Regards,
Jason
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Jason, give Jess a great big kiss & hug from Collie would ya? She’s in my prayers & thoughts.
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:41 pm
jess and jason
our thought and pray’s are with you at this time
love
josh and sheree
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Jess and Jason,
xo
March 24th, 2008 at 11:59 am
God bless you ..we will never forget you
March 24th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Our thoughts and prayers are with you all. Jess was a wonderful friend to our son Mark,(who is overseas) they worked together at Westpac. What a wonderful young lady.
The Twohig family
March 25th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Dearest Jess, How incredibly brave you are, and so much work you have done to be able to accept such an unfair fate. You will live on in hearts gorgeous and never be forgotten. We will be there for Jason and your family, I’m so glad you’ve had his strength and love. Love, Amanda
March 26th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
I just read your story in Thats Life published 14 April 2008, please express my best wishes to the family at this time- remember Jess that you have been loved and you will be the brightest star up there
Best wishes
Jade
Brisbane
March 26th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Dearest Jess, I read your story in Thats Life today and thought you were so wonderfully brave, an inspiration to many people. I decided to come on here and read your blog, only to find you were nearing the end of your battle. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Jason and your family.
Chris
March 26th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I have just found out Jess passed over, i wish Jess’s family my condolences at this time
Jason keep your chin up
Regards
Jade
March 26th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
You are such a brave young lady Jess ,my prayers are with you Jason and all your love ones .Brenda
March 26th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I have just read the story in Thats life as well, and was compelled to check out the site as I was so impressed with jess maturity and her unselfish nature. How sad to find out that she has passed away , but her story will live on and her bravery will be rewarded as she states she is with her Lord. We all need to reward Jess bravery by honouring her memory and making the most of everyday. Jason I dont know you but my heart breakes for you and Jess family.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Dear Julie & Jason
Our Thoughts, Prayers and Sincere Condolences are with you on this terribly sad occasion. You have ben two of the closest persons to such a beautiful and wonderful person, Jessica. She is at Peace now with her Maker and will not be suffering.
Take care and I’ll see you on the 5th.
Love & Best Wishes
Coleen & Warren xxx (Port Macquarie)
March 26th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
I was reading your story in todays thats life wed 26th march,i logged onto the website and found that jesses fight for life was over.It was heartwrenching to read but such abeautiful story that came from the heart and soul of a woman that was courageous right to the end.JESS U TRULY R AN INSPIRATION TO MANY PEOPLE.My prayers go to Jason and Jesses family
March 26th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Hi Jason and Jess’s family & friends,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Jess was one in a million. She has inspired each and every person she has come into contact with, but then again, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that. I will never forget her amazing spirit and unique sense of humor. She was such a great friend, always willing to lend an ear, despite her own struggles. I feel extremely lucky to have crossed paths with her along the journey, and to have been able to call her a friend. She was wise beyond her years, and never failed to inspire me with her strength and determination. We should all be proud for having known such a wonderful person.
I miss you Jess.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time. If there is anything at all I can do, please don’t hesitate to ask. I will organise a get together for some ofJess’s old colleagues that I know are working over here in London as well, so that we can all remember the good times together.
Cheers
Mark T
March 27th, 2008 at 3:10 am
I only just read your story Jess.i couldnt sleep thinking about you,so i thought i would get on and send you my wishes.only to find your battle is over..my thoughts and wishes go out to jason and emily , jess family.If you were my daughter i would of been so proud.you touched my soul jess..sleep peacefully..
March 27th, 2008 at 8:55 am
God bless you all, Jess is in a wonderful place now & she will live on forever in you all What a wonderful inspiration to all of us who read her wonderful story.
xxxx Anne.
March 27th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
God has her in his keepings
You have her in your heart
May the angels be with you all xxxxx
March 27th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
I was at one of those Leukaemia Foundation occasions where Jess spoke and she said something that has stayed with me ever since. She said that the reason why she thought the people at the Foundation did such a great job helping was because ” They Get It “. I work at the Leukaemia Foundation of Qld and I have never forgotten that what we do impacts on the lives of the patients and their families and hopefully I Get It, Jess.
God Bless
March 27th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Deepest sympathy to Jason and Jess’ family. XOXO
March 27th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
deepest sympathy to jess’ family and friends, just tink se is at peace now god bless you, RIP JESS YOU BRAVE CHICKY
March 27th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
I met Jesse and family a couple of times at family bbqs and couldn’t help but be touched by an aura or serenity about her. I’m one of the lucky ones as a cancer survivor and can remember the lonely path of chemo and other treatment. It’s a tough path.
Jesse you may be physically gone from this earth but your presence will be felt for a long time. People like you pack more into a short time than others do in 100 years so thanks for touching my life in the way that you did.
March 27th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Jason, never met you but Julie and i go back a long way. So very sad about Jess - and still coming to terms with the reality of her death.
She was, as many have said, one in a million - a very remarkable lady.
My thoughts are with you and also with her family - especially Julie - I have been an inadequate friend, but its absolutely not about me - love, tears and eventually peace to all who have known and and loved a very special lady - died so young, too young.
March 28th, 2008 at 8:19 am
Wow, what a brave woman Jess was. I also read the story in That’s Life - looking at the photos, I presumed she had a few years left. Wherever she is now, she has hoped so many people. Her body may have died, but I don’t think Jess has.
March 28th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
DEAR JASON & FAMILY,
AFTER READING JESS’S STORY IN THATS LIFE I DECIDED I WOULD LOOK AT HER STORY. JESS SOUNDED LIKE ONE IN A MILLION AND I WAS SAD TO SEE THAT SHE HAD PASSED AWAY. MY CONDOLENCES TO YOU AND ALL THE FAMILY. JESS WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTON.
March 28th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
I too read the story in TL ad am devastated to hear that Jess lost her fight. My condolences to Jason and family.
March 28th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Today, I read Jess’ story. And now I have logged on here for the first time and have only just found out she has passed. To Jess’ family and friends and to Jason, I honestly know the pain you are going through and I am so sorry for your loss.
I have tears streaming down my face & got goosebumps after reading Jess had passed.
I honestly wish I knew about this site earlier. I’m not an expert by any means, but being an only child & with my dad passing away from Cancer in Jan 95, I was the sole carer with the help of the wonderful people at Palliative Care, for my mum. Mum wanted to die at home and as hard as it was, I actually feel honored & blessed, that I could be there for mum in her last weeks and days of her life.
Was it hard?, absolutely, Would I change a thing?, No way!!
My mum passed away in December 06 and every day I think of her & miss her.
The pain of losing someone you love does get easier, but, the love they shared will stay with you forever.
Once again, Even tho I haven’t met you guys, I give my deepest sympathy to you all.
I hope you can keep the site up. I am sure many people will find it useful.
Jess is a beautiful woman and will always be watching over you.
Karen
March 28th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
To Jess’s family and friends
Like many others here I too read the story in thats life this week. I too felt compelled to look up her journey. What a brave, inspiring, couragous young woman she was. I was reduced to tears reading her story and her blogs. My condolences to everyone, she certainly touched alot of people. Thank you to her and everyone for sharing this private pain.
Thinking of you all
March 29th, 2008 at 11:02 am
To Jess’s family, My condolences on the passing of Jess. I read her story in That’s Life and it was inspiring for me. I am battling with Leukeamia at the moment and her story made me realize that you have to be strong and fight as hard as you can. I lost my sister to cancer over a year ago and then to find out I was ill really shocked my family. My thoughts and prayers are with you Jason and your family..
She will always be with you in heart and spirit..
Wanda.
March 29th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I also read Jess’ story in That’s Life this week and immediately had to look at her website.
I am so sad to read of Jess’ passing. Her courage, strength and faith in the Lord seems nothing short of amazing.
May she rest in peace for eternal life with her Maker.
Ellie
March 29th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
You will never be gone,I see your beautifull smiling face everywhere.Thankyou for coming into my life.
You were strong,loving,compasionate.
You reached a maturity and understanding that few reach even if they live out a full life span.
My heart goes out to Jason and all your family.
The world is a brighter place because of you.
March 29th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
To Jason and family. I just read Jess story and the tears of sadness streamed down my face whenI logged on to Jess site. My Son had leuakamia towards the end of 1999, and I suppose you would callhim one of the lucky ones as he is still with us. But having had cancer at 15years10months robbed him of some friends who made his journey a little less daunting for him. A friends wife sent me this after she losted her husband, Ihope it gives you all some comfort. What is this death but a negligible accident Iam,bar waiting for you for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. My love to you all in this time of sadness, Jess will live in your hearts forever. God bless you all. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of a wonderful young women life be it ever so short. Love you all. Bye.
March 30th, 2008 at 12:04 am
Dear Jason and family, deepest sympathy to all who new Jess. Her smile and courage will always light up any room.
March 30th, 2008 at 2:15 am
Dear Jason,
This is one of those occasions in which words are hopelessly superfluous, but I had to express how deeply sorry I am to hear of Jess’s passing. I lost touch with Jess after I left Australia, but in college we were inseparable. I still remember her that way- vibrant, loud, unconditionally loving and supportive and always dressed in red.
All my best wishes to you and Jess’s family,
Charlie
March 30th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
To Jason and Jessicas families,
I have only just read Jessica’s story. I wanted to continue the journey with you. So I am sorry to hear of Jessica’s passing. Her stregth and courage to share her story was truly inspirational and I am sure that all those people who read her story will be as inspired and as moved as I was.
I am sure that Jessica’s memory will live on forever.
“life is not measured in the years you lived, but the love you gave and the things you did.”
Best wishes to you all.
March 30th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
I just read Jess’s story in That’s Life today and it broke my heart. What a courageous beautiful young lady you are Jess. Sorry I didn’t know about your website before now. I would have been in touch.
My niece has incurable cancer (Hodgkins Disease)and has been fighting it for 1 yr 5mths now. She is only 25yrs old and has a 51/2yr old son. Her boyfriend also started the relationship knowing she had cancer. Jess, she is just like you - Beautiful, intelligent, fun loving, caring and brave. I will show her your website and am sure you will give her comfort.
Jason - you are an amazing man. I wish you all the very best for the future.
My love and deepest sympathy to Jason and all Jess’s family and close friends.
Rochelle Akl West NZ
March 31st, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I also read jess’s story in thats life magazine and wanted to look up the website,
deepest sympathy to jason and all of jess’s family, what a brave lady she sounded like and i hope this website continues for her sake.
she sounded like an angel here on earth and im sure she has her wings now and is looking down on all of you,
may she be free from all her pain now
RIP JESS
March 31st, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Today l read jess,s story in Thats life and it broke my heart.After reading her story l immediately had to check out her website, she is truly one in a million and an inspiration to many people, I was truly sorry to hear that
she has passed. Jason- I wish you all the best for the future. My deepest sympathy to you jason and all jess,s family and friends. Jacki Melbourne
March 31st, 2008 at 11:50 pm
I have just read Jessica’s story in That’s Life, what a beautiful, strong young woman. I too lost my mum to ovarian cancer, may they both RIP.
My deepest sympathy to Jessica’s family.
Pauleen (Perth)
April 1st, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Hi, I’m another That’s Life reader and your story bought tears to my eyes. I think that you are your entire family are so extremely brave.
My sympathy goes out to you all.
xoxo Amandda
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Dear Jason, Jess’s family and friends,
I have also just read Thats Life and immediately had to look up her website.
My sincere condolences to you all. What an exceptional, inspiring and totally selfless beautiful human being.
And how proud you must all be to have been a part of her life. A beautiful women gone way too early.
My love and thoughts are with you all
Sue xox (Phillip Island Vic)
April 11th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
To family and friends of such a remarkable woman,
I have had the pleaseure of speaking along side Jess at a number if Leukaemia Foundation functions as guest speakers and I have to say, she never stopped amazing me with her courage and aspirations for a happy and healthy life. I will always remember her funky boots that she was “in love with”. She has said in her message abaove that she will not be forgotten so long as there is always someone to remember her…well as long as I roam this earth, she will be remembered as a special person who left a mark on my heart.
Take Care Jason and family,
Marcia
x
April 14th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Dear Jason and Family,
I am at a loss for words at what an amazing hero jess was and will be for many of us. My thoughts and love will be with you.
Hugh
April 14th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Twenty years ago, posting updates of our lives on a website wasn’t even a concept.
Now, thanks to the power of the Internet, Jess’ story will be immortalised for as long as the domain name remains registered. Truly a marvel.
Jess’ story will be read and re-read thousands, if not millions of times over the coming decades. She will, in effect, live forever.
All the very best, Jason and daughter.
April 14th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
To all who loved Jess, I’m so sorry for your deep sadness and heartfelt loss of a courageous, beautiful and wonderful young woman.
I remember being inspired by the Gallipoli story six years ago on Australian Story, and was moved to tears tonight.
Jess’s life has shown me how complacent I have become since moving into remission from NH Lymphoma at the end of 2006. Jess’s courage has moved me to thank the Lord for every new day.
God bless you all…. Jo Mayled, Port Hedland WA
April 17th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Hi Jess. im sending you this message to say hey - and i wont forget you. i havent - see!!!! Jess i never met you but i will on day and then i can tell you what a difference you made. it makes me feel better knowing that you were ‘ok’ with meeting our maker at the end. i know he’s holding you now. Jess, there are people out here who will hold you up - who will hold your family up. we are with you. And i guess the beauty of the net is that its sent down a crazy cable and wire system and i can imagine the current re-routing themselves to you and you reading all our messages. Love you Jess - did you get that?!
Jess - i’ll carry you with me as i roam this earth - not only so i have a friend but so you can stay.
Say hi to the ‘Man’ for me - and mabye if you see Marilyn Monroe…. find out what happened there - was she murdered?!
Oh Jess, people must think im nuts….but i know your laughing right now thinking this girls nuts, but she’s onto something!!!!!!!!
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE - LOVE YOU JESSIE!
MMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAA! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Hi Jason
I read about Jessicas in thats life and it really touched my heart. I’m sorry too hear of her passing and my thought are with you and your family as well as Jessicas Parents and family. I no how you feal my grandmother also has cancer and we dont no how long shes got.
my thoughts are with you forever
fom Megan
April 24th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Dear Jason and family, words cannot express my deepest feelings for you all…… All i can say is my warmest love is sent to you, and Jess will never be forgotten. Peace, Love and Light……Til we all meet up, Shaz xxxoooxxx
May 2nd, 2008 at 7:59 pm
dear jess jason and family and
Lost my beloved dad to multiple myeloma on fathers day over 15 years ago …..till this day the pain he endured remains deeply etched in my soul , i wished and prayed GOD could take that pain away every day…the same way i wished and prayed GOD could help take away your pain and suffering and just let you have more time…to share,smile,love and live.The suffering you went through is unimaginable and the love you radiated has created a legacy that will continue to grow forever.Your intellegence ,beauty, smile and sheer will to live a normal life against such awful circumstances ,enables us all to live life more meaningfully and and not take the little but important things for granted.I myself had a brush with cancer recently as well , it was a routine check up and since then ive had surgery and the tests are clear so far.Im very lucky ,caught early.Your blog is a beacon, and you will remain in my mind one of the bravest writers daring to tell it how it is and demistify the scary stuff , thank you so much jess you conquered so much in such a short time.You will be remebered and loved forever.With much love Virginia.