The reason? I’m not being brave. I didn’t stand up and say, ‘Give me that disease!’ or anything like that. It’s not like I ASKED to have it, and so… I don’t think it’s bravery, to deal with a disease. If anything, if I was trying to keep my head held high about it when really I was dying inside, that’d be stupidity more than braveness – nobody’s going to feel less of me if I break down once or twice over it, nobody’s going to look at me and decide I’m a faliure. But telling people to ‘be brave’ encourages just that: pretend everything’s fine all the time, be the constant smiling face, pretend there’s never a moment in your life when you think ‘I wish it wasn’t like this’. And no matter how minor or severe your illness or condition is, there are always going to be moments when you think that, and wish that.

But, that’s the thing to admire about these people – they DON’T spend their life thinking about how they wish it wasn’t like that. Somehow, in the worst odds, that’s when people sit back and accept it, and decide it isn’t as bad as people say it is after all. One of the most inspirational people I met was a man dying of cancer in his 40s, and this man I only ever met once. Just out – walking his dog. A friendly, ordinary, kind man who smiled and chatted calmly with a teenage kid about his cancer and how long he had left to live. He wasn’t panicked, or avoidant. He had dignity, and acceptance. He wasn’t all glorious, describing how he’d fight the disease to the end, ranting in passionate phrases how he would be unafraid of the death to come. And nobody should feel like they have to be that way. He just held onto his humanity and sanity, throughout it all. That’s what matters.

So, good going, Jessica. I’d gladly contribute towards your effort in changing the words that people use.

I know a man who distributed his wife’s ashes to the winds from a high point in a national park. To me it is only an issue if it is obvious and offensive to others.

Frank

breast cancer prognosis are important whether it costs money take care of or not. Supporting information is vital and so your post ” The Ride of My Life ” Dying For Beginners makes interesting reading. I hope many see it and take notice….

I say this with no sense of facile humour, but a true belief that this is what nature is all about – in the end, the world is its own recycler.

I wish I had met Jessica during her life. She would have been a joy and an education to know.

Frank

Thankyou